At the center of your being is your Source. It is the quietest, most peaceful part of you; it is the part of you that is truly You. We all build armor around our Source. What we would dub our “character” is this armor. All of our ethics, our way of thinking, our variable virtues (but not our True Virtue) are part of our character. And when all is in balance our Source and armor complement each other. But when we are out of balance, the toughest of all conflicts arises.
Most of us, when out of balance with our surroundings, circumstances, self-image, pile on to our character. We argue with ourselves and if we overcompensate, we pile on justifications that further distance us from our Source, stop listening to the Virtue that our Source whispers. Become tangled up in the overly complex character that we have woven. If it goes too far, our armor, our character becomes a wall that severs us from our Source and from the Sources of those around us. And then we are lonely, depressed and miserable. And (almost) hopelessly lost.
Conflict, healthy conflict, should be a process of growth. A conflict that tangles you up with endless justifications and piling thoughts and conflicting emotions halts growth. Ties you to your frustrations. So what are we supposed to do? How do we navigate out of the maze we built with our pontifications and endless arguments?
Well, first of all, remember that you can always take your armor off. Underneath all of those layers is your Source. With a little courage, you can discard your character. A great teacher in doing this is Brandon Bays and her book, The Journey.
Secondly, when that mental debate starts, disassemble it and look for the simplest solution. Discard (immediately) all of the others. Meditation can do wonders in helping you notice and diffuse an endless personal conflict.
And, thirdly, if you have gotten yourself so tangled up you can’t seem to move, ask for help. Talk to a therapist. A good therapist will teach you how to find the most effective path back to your Source.