Blaming Others is Easy… If You Want to be in Control, Blame Yourself

It is easy to blame other people when your life does not go the way you might want it to go. The lack of control of the situation around you can be infuriating. I recently suffered through my girlfriend of two and a half years ending our relationship. She was scared of my temper, which is rather potent, to say the least. I felt that I was the one being wronged. That I was the victim. And she felt the opposite.

We blamed each other. She still blames me for the result. But, I stopped blaming her, at least for the entirety, of the result. I put some blame on myself. It is never only one person’s fault for any mutual issue, no one person can be at blame. At some point I realized that everything that happens to you is your fault, not someone else.

This thought process was reinforced by a song by Benny Benassi, called “Control”. There is one part of the lyrics that stood out, “Let go, there is no confusion, control is an illusion” this phrase caused a click. The realization that I can’t control what she blames me for, or what she does, that I could let go, reset and restart, not wallow in negativity. To just let things be as they need to be.

The idea I hope to get across, is that if your life is not necessarily going the way you want it to, take a step back and breathe. Let yourself look at things from a more objective third-person point of view. And change your perspective. Make the changes you couldn’t before. Do the things that you couldn’t before. Let yourself be you. 

“Control” by Benny Benassi

About Thain

I am a high school senior with a strong interest in psychology and philosophy; my interest in psychology stems from my analytical thinking, I analyze just about everything. It is similar for philosophy except that everything is more in theory than in fact. These all compound to create the reason why I joined HNWF; self help type stuff has a lot of psychological principles in it and surrounding it. I joined because I was surrounded by it and the idea of being part of it interested me.

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